September 2009
1 post
This sucks.
dakotafloyd:
My grandma just fell and broke her hip.
My aunt who’s more of a grandma did the same, and recovered remarkably quickly. Hopefully yours will too!
August 2009
6 posts
Alright. I haven’t had a Cheerwine since June. I’m going to break character again. Twice in a row. So here you go. A picture of Enrique Iglesias.
Listen
June 2009
2 posts
SO THERE’S THIS STUFF…
IT’S CALLED PURE CANE SUGAR. I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S SO CANE ABOUT IT, DOESN’T LOOK LIKE A WALKING STICK TO ME.
BUT I FOUND PEOPLE SELLING IT IN CHEERWINE INSTEAD OF HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP. I TOOK A SIP, AND I, SKULLS MCGEE, HAD AN ORGASMIC EXPERIENCE.
MORE CHEERWINE
SO I WAS WALKING AROUND DOWNTOWN KNOXVILLE AT SUNDOWN IN THE CITY.
THERE WAS A BOOTH GIVING OUT FREE CHEERWINE. KNOXVILLE. MY ANCESTRAL HOME.
THE GOSPEL OF CHEERWINE HAS SPREAD, AND I, SKULLS MCGEE, WOULD LIKE TO THINK THAT I AM PART OF THIS CHEERWINE EVANGELISM.
THAT OR AN AGGRESSIVE MARKETING CAMPAIGN.
I LIKE MY IDEA BETTER.
April 2009
2 posts
SORRY I, SKULLS MCGEE, HAVE NOT INFORMED YOU OF MY LOVE AS OF LATE.
YOU SEE, I HAVE BEEN SPIRALING NONCHALANTLY INTO A WORLD OF WOE, AS I COUNTED THE NUMBER OF CHEERWINE CANS AVAILABLE IN MY REFRIGERATOR: 12.
I FIND IT HARD TO GET BY, REALIZING THAT MY NECTAR, MY LIFESOURCE, IS SLOWLY DRAINING AWAY. HOWEVER, 168 CANS SINCE THE NEW YEAR? NOT BAD. NOT BAD AT ALL.
MY FRIEND FROM MADAGASCAR MAY...
CHEERWINE IN THE MORNING
CHEERWINE IN THE EVENING
CHEERWINE AT SUPPERTIME
WITH CHEERWINE ON A BAGEL
YOU CAN DRINK CHEERWINE ANYTIME
March 2009
13 posts
I, SKULLS MCGEE, WAS INFORMED THAT DR. PEPPER MIXED WITH CRANBERRY JUICE TASTES LIKE CHEERWINE BUT BETTER.
I, SKULLS MCGEE, SAMPLED THIS CONCOCTION TO SEE IF THERE WAS TRUTH IN THIS OUTLANDISH STATEMENT.
I, SKULLS MCGEE, REALIZED THAT SHE WAS WRONG.
CHEERWINE IS SUPREME.
IT’S CERTAINLY BETTER THAN CALLING IT
SADGIN
DROWSYRUM
CYNICISMSAKE
ORNERYOUZO
FEARBEAR
IT’S CHEERWINE, AND I, SKULLS MCGEE, LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT.
ween:
ecstasyandcheerwine:
WHERE NICE? ENRICH EWE?
HI WEEN! REC
RICE HEWN….E
HELLO!
I, SKULLS MCGEE, HAVE SCIENTIFICALLY DEDUCED WHY EXACTLY GENER CRIED IN HIS SLEEP.
CHEERWINE ISN’T SOLD IN NEW HOPE, PA. I WOULD CRY TOO.
WHERE NICE? ENRICH EWE?
HI WEEN! REC
RICE HEWN….E
TAO TE CHEERWINE
THE CHEERWINE THAT CAN BE TOLD IS NOT THE ETERNAL BEVERAGE THE CHEERWINE THAN CAN BE NAMED IS NOT THE ETERNAL BEVERAGE EITHER THE UNNAMABLE IS THE ETERNALLY REAL NAMING IS THE ORIGIN OF CHEERWINE BRAND SOFT DRINKS FREE FROM DESIRE, YOU REALIZE THE MYSTERY CAUGHT IN DESIRE, YOU GO TO YOUR REFRIGERATOR YET MYSTERY AND REFRIGERATORS ARISE FROM THE SAME SOURCE THIS SOURCE IS CALLED THE...
CHEERWINE RELIEVES STRESS
CLINICAL STUDIES SHOW THAT CHEERWINE RELIEVES STRESS BETTER THAN
PUNCHING YOUR PILLOW
TAKING A BATH
GOING TO AN AQUARIUM
TAKING A NAP
GOING TO THE BEACH
SMOKING A CIGARETTE
DOODLING
WRITING DEPRESSING LIVEJOURNAL ENTRIES
WORKING OUT
9 OUT OF 10 DOCTORS RECOMMEND IT
AND I, SKULLS MCGEE, HAVE NONE ON ME.
CHEERWINE MATH
ELABORATING ON THE CALCULUS THEMES THAT WERE EXPLORED ON EARLIER
CHEERWINE + CHEERWINE = EOIJJSKAI
CHEERWINE - CHEERWINE = A
CHEERWINE / CHEERWINE = B
CHEERWINE * CHEERWINE = WHY THE HELL WOULD I SQUARE A 9 DIGIT NUMBER IN BASE 26. NO.
Listen
Listen
February 2009
9 posts
C IS FOR COOL
H IS FOR HAT
E IS FOR EEL
E IS FOR ANOTHER EEL
R IS FOR RAD
W IS FOR WOMAN
I IS FOR I
N IS FOR NEATO
E IS FOR EEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLL
THEY DON'T KNOW
ONE TIME I TRIED TO EXPLAIN CALCULUS TO A FIFTH GRADER AND SHE JUST LOOKED AT ME WITH HER BIG BROWN EYES AND SAID THAT SHE DIDN’T UNDERSTAND WHAT I WAS TRYING TO TALK ABOUT. THEN I REALIZED THAT THE ONLY WAY THAT I COULD POSSIBLY MAKE HER UNDERSTAND WHAT IT WAS THAT I WAS SAYING WAS TO TAKE THE DERIVATIVE OF SOMETHING THAT EVERYONE COULD RELATE TO. SOMETHING UNIVERSALLY LOVED.
...
IT BEARS TELLING YOU A LITTLE BIT ABOUT MYSELF. MY...
“When there is trouble afoot, there are three types of people in the world.
...”
– Sir Walter Raleigh
Cheerwine haiku
THE WIND BLOWS IN SPRING
BUT I STILL HAVE YOU CHEERWINE
YOU MAKE ME FEEL GOOD
Cheerwine
I LOVE CHEERWINE GODDAMN.